Thursday, April 24, 2014

Seinfeld Slang

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

There are so many hilarious words and phrases coined by Seinfeld. Many of them pop into my everyday language or inside jokes with fellow fans—yada yada, man hands, jerk store, baldist, anti-dentite, funeral hello, big salad, close talker, urban sombrero, festivus… I could go on for a while.
Photo credit: cafepress.co.uk

Without Seinfeld, women wouldn't rank men based on their "sponge worthiness," there wouldn't be as many jokes about close talkers, and I wouldn't say "yada yada" when I want to skip over little details in my stories.

I recently discovered a website called The Seinfeld Dictionary. As I read through I remembered episodes and Seinfeld moments that I'd forgotten about. Some of the words and phrases made me laugh out loud. I also realized I use certain Seinfeld lingo without even realizing it. For example, when I'm picking someone up at the airport, I tell people I'm doing an "airport pickup." What am I, a cab driver? No, just someone who has Seinfeld terms engrained so far into my mind that I just use them naturally. "Man hands" is another term from the show that I find myself using a lot, mostly to describe my own mannish hands.

"Anti-dentite" is one term that gave me a good chuckle.
Anti-dentite—1. One who cracks a joke about a dentist who recently converted to Judaism. Quote–"…if this wasn't my son's wedding day, I'd knock your teeth out you anti-dentite bastard."–Mr. Abbott (Mickey's dad).
I'm amazed that anyone could even think of the term "anti-dentite." Check out the YouTube video below for Kramer's famous "anti-dentite" scene.


Another funny term I came across while scrolling through the dictionary was "human fund"—the fake charity that George started. According to the dictionary, the charity's tagline is "The Human Fund. Money For People." Ironically, this charity actually exists. The Human Fund supports arts education programs for underprivileged youth in Cleveland—probably a better cause than fake Christmas gifts for George's coworkers.

I encourage you to check out The Seinfeld Dictionary. You may even find you're using some Seinfeld vocab that you weren't aware of before.

This post may be my last one for a little while. I write this blog as a weekly assignment for my Creative Communications program, and tomorrow is our last day of classes. Tomorrow evening my classmates and I are going to the Creative Communications Media Awards, which I am very excited to attend. I'm also excited for afterwards, when we're all going out to have a good time, and yada yada yada, and call it a year!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Best of Frank Costanza

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

Frank Costanza is my favourite character aside from the core four. He invented Festivus, the Mansierre, and the "stop short" move. He's a legend.

I was thinking about including some of Frank's famous quotes in this post, but there's no way I could do his character justice by simply typing some words. The humour behind his quotes is all in the delivery. Luckily, I stumbled across a YouTube video full of Frank's quotes. The video is pretty lengthy, but if you're a Frank Costanza fan like me, I guarantee it'll be time well spent.


While searching Seinfeld on YouTube, I also came across some other character clip videos for a few more of my favourites. Check out the videos below. Enjoy!

Jackie Chiles


J. Peterman


Kenny Bania


Uncle Leo 


David Puddy 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Seinfeld taught me that!

Hello Seinfeld lovers, 

"Seinfeld taught me that" — many of you have probably used these words before, right?

I've used them multiple times. I was pretty young when Seinfeld was airing new episodes, so maybe the things I learned were already common knowledge for many adults watching the show. However, that doesn't change the fact that Seinfeld taught me many things. When I'm having a conversation with friends and I contribute a random fact that maybe not everyone knew, it's surprising how often that fact came from Seinfeld. 

In "The Foundation" (episode 1, season 8) J. Peterman taught me that the country commonly known as Burma is now actually called Myanmar. In part two of "The Boyfriend" (episode 18, season 3) Jerry, Kramer, Newman and Keith Hernandez used the story of the "magic loogie" to teach me about Kennedy's assassination. In "The Contest" (episode 11, season 4) the whole gang taught me about something a young girl probably shouldn't know about until she's older. The list of things Seinfeld has taught me could go on for a while.

There's a reason I'm bringing this up. I was able to use my Seinfeld knowledge at school this week, and it made me feel like a smart cookie. One of my instructors was reading quotes from famous writers to the class, and we had to guess the writer. She read out a quote from Tolstoy's Anna Karenina and gave a hint that the writer was a famous Russian novelist. I immediately thought of "The Marine Biologist" (episode 14, season 5), and blurted out "Tolstoy!" Who would’ve thought Seinfeld could teach me about a 19th century Russian writer. 

I know it's not that impressive to know who Tolstoy is, but if I hadn't learned it through Seinfeld I don't know that I would've learned it somewhere else. 

Yes, the majority of what I've learned from Seinfeld is random facts, but it's better to know more than less. Thanks for the wisdom, Seinfeld!

Check out the YouTube video below for the "magic loogie" explanation of Kennedy's assassination. 

Monday, April 7, 2014

Best Episode Tournament

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

So this is pretty neat… click the link below for the FOX Sports tournament for the best Seinfeld episode ever.

Best Seinfeld Episode Tournament

If I were a betting man, I'd put money on The Contest or The Soup Nazi. I think The Marine Biologist is hilarious, but I don't see it winning. The Strike is also hilarious. Who am I kidding, they're all hilarious, but one of them has to win. Who do you think it'll be?

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Kramer's Jeans

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

This post is for the ladies. It seems these days jeans are getting tighter and tighter. FACT—tight jeans are not comfortable. If you disagree, and you think you can put together a valid argument, I challenge you to do so in the comment section below.

The reason I'm raising this point on a blog about Seinfeld is because I think many of us can relate to Kramer and his tight jeans (episode 21, season 7). If you've never had trouble getting into or out of a pair of jeans before, well, I'm impressed!

Here's some pictures from Google Images of Jerry trying to help Kramer out of his tight jeans (sorry for the poor image quality).




If you have six minutes and 42 seconds to spare, I strongly encourage you to check out the following video with clips from Kramer's tight jeans debacle. It had me laughing out loud the entire time.

KRAMER'S TIGHT JEANS VIDEO

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I just want to unwind!

Hello Seinfeld lovers, 

The other day I was thinking about "The Puerto Rican Day" episode (season nine). 


The gang finds themselves stuck in a traffic jam due to the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Hours go by before the parade clears and they're able to get home. The whole time poor Elaine just wants to get home to unwind. 

"All I know is that it's Sunday night, and I have got to unwind!" 
Elaine makes many more remarks like this throughout the episode. 
Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I'm realizing how important the Sunday night "unwind" is to me. Like Elaine, I too NEED to unwind on Sunday night before the week begins again. I've found that when I have something going on during a Sunday night, like piles of homework or another obligation, I get worked up about not having my time to unwind. This time is very important to me. 
I used to work at a restaurant, and every week I got scheduled to work the Sunday night closing shift. This was the worst thing ever. I would've rather closed the Saturday night, and given up my chance to go out, in exchange for my Sunday night unwinding time. 
What do I do to unwind? Nothing. But I need this time to do nothing in order to feel prepared for the week. I know—I'm weird, but I completely feel Elaine's pain throughout this episode. 
It's sort of ridiculous when you think about it. 
"No, I can't go out for dinner tonight, because I need to unwind." 
"I MUST finish my homework before Sunday night, because that time is dedicated to unwinding."
If Jerry Seinfeld felt the need to make fun of the Sunday night "unwind" in this episode, then Elaine and I must not be the only ones who feel this way. This makes me feel like less of an old lady.
Do you feel the same way? Have you gone to serious lengths to ensure you have your Sunday night unwinding period? Feel free to share in the comment box below!
I'll leave you with a little YouTube clip from the episode. Poor Elaine, she's just so frazzled. I feel ya, girl!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Virtual Seinfeld

Hello Seinfeld lovers, 

So this is pretty high up there on the list of coolest things I've ever seen—Greg Miller, gaming programmer, spent two months re-watching the entire Seinfeld series so he could recreate Jerry's apartment for people to experience through an Oculus Rift headset. Basically, you put on the headset, and it's like you're walking around Jerry's apartment. Miller even recreated Jerry's cereal collection with vintage 90s labels. 

This is definitely something I'll have to try. Seinfeld fans sure don't fool around. Click the link below for the full article on Greg Miller's Seinfeld virtual reality. 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Sargent & Victor & Me

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

I'm sorry—I won't be blogging about Seinfeld this week. This post is about a one-woman play I attended with my journalism class on Tuesday evening. Weird—I know. I'm also required to write a blog post about my experience at the play.

But don't worry, after this week I'll be talking Seinfeld again!

The play is called Sargent & Victor & Me. Even though it was minus a million outside, 60-some Creative Communications students braved the cold to watch Debbie Patterson perform in the intimate Asper Centre for Theatre and Film.

I'd never been to a one-woman play before. When I first found out we were going, I thought of "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life"—the play that the gang from Friends attended in episode 20 of the ninth season. If you're familiar with this episode, you'll know why I was expecting the worst out of a one-woman play.

But it actually wasn't that bad! I'm not a theatre-goer, so anything that doesn't make me fall asleep or make me feel extremely uncomfortable is an A+ in my books.

Debbie Patterson is the writer and sole performer in Sargent & Victor & Me. The play is about her battle with multiple sclerosis and social problems surrounding the Sargent and Victor area in Winnipeg.

I thought mixing MS with the deterioration of a neighborhood was a weird combination; these are two completely different things.

Patterson plays a number of different characters who live or have lived around Sargent and Victor, but the character she based on herself takes the spotlight. In a talk-back session after the play, she said that 90 percent of the play's content is based on facts from interviews she did with these people, and 10 per cent is fictional.

I found the Teresa character to be the most captivating. She's based on a teenage aboriginal girl involved in gangs, drugs, and prostitution. It's interesting because I've never met the person Teresa is based on, but I feel that Patterson portrays her very well. I think her character is very believable.

You'd think the character based on Patterson herself would be the most believable, right? She's playing herself; she's playing a character with MS and she also has MS. But she isn't really that believable! Strange, eh? I think her lines are too exaggerated, making the "acting" a little too obvious.

I think the lighting is the most important element in the play. Lighting designer Hugh Conacher does a very good job. Without the lighting, it would've been difficult to decipher between each character. Patterson's different voices helped, but I think the lighting is ultimately what defines each character.

The Asper Centre for Theatre and Film is small. There is seating on three sides of the performance area. I think the size of the venue helps bring the audience into play because the seating is close enough to see Patterson's facial expressions and make eye contact.

I don't know if this is a "good play" or not. I don't have enough experience in the art form to make that judgement. Regardless of whether it's good or not, I can tell you what I think of it; it's weird but maybe a good weird. It combines two things that I've never seen combined before. It left me wanting to know more about the neighborhood around Sargent and Victor. I've always known this is a rough neighborhood, but that's about all I know.

That’s all I’ve got to say about Sargent & Victor & Me. More Seinfeld next week—I promise!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Thousand Farewells

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

For my journalism class, I'm required to blog about the book—A Thousand Farewells. I'm sorry, I know it's not Seinfeld, but it's still very cool! I hope I leave you wanting to pick up a copy!



Author, Nahlah Ayed, was born in Winnipeg but she lived in a Palestinian refugee camp in Jordan for much of her childhood. After moving back to Canada with her family, Ayed eventually pursued a career in journalism. She became a reporter for the CBC. In 2002, her job brought her back to the war-torn region her family left behind. 

A Thousand Farewells is Ayed's story about war reporting in the Middle East. During her time there, she met myriad of people deeply affected by war and oppressive regimes. She takes readers through major conflicts in Afghanistan, Iraq, Lebanon, Egypt and Libya, giving local perspectives and personal stories. 

The sequence of events in this book are effectively ordered for clarity. Although Ayed was often moving around between countries, she makes it easy for readers to understand where she was and what was going on. Between 2003 and 2009, Ayed spends a lot of time in Iraq and Lebanon; however, she describes Iraq first. She starts from when she entered Iraq for the first time in 2003 to her final days there in 2007. Following the Iraq chapters, she jumps back to 2004 and begins to describe her time in Lebanon, stretching until 2009. 

If Ayed were to describe her experiences in true chronological order, the events and people she met in Iraq could easily be confused with the events and people she met in Lebanon, because she would have to jump back and forth several times. By telling her entire Iraq story first, and then going back in time to begin her Lebanon story, it's much easier to keep track of the elements in each story. 

The order of her stories make it easier to comprehend all the people, places and events in this book, but there are A LOT of people, places and events. If there's one thing working against Ayed, it's all the little details. There are so many names! I believe these details are important, but I would've found a visual aid very helpful. A timeline at the back of the book showing where she went and who she met would have added clarity. As well, a family tree showing the many family members she describes at the beginning of the book would've been helpful. 

A significant part of A Thousand Farewells deals with the struggles and triumphs of being a journalist in a war-torn region. I think that journalists can learn a lot from Ayed. A few times throughout the book, she describes the personal toll her job has taken on her. Being in constant danger, combined with being exposed to people who have been through intense hardship, can become very stressful she says. 

I think Ayed is an inspiration for journalists. She's passionate about what she does, and she doesn't let anything hold her back, not even being beaten after a bombing in Iraq. The way she describes the feelings she has during protests in Cairo shows she's proud of the people. She cares deeply about them, and to see them rising up against their oppressive governments gives her hope for the region.

A Thousand Farewells isn't like any non-fiction work I've read or watched before. The book focuses on Ayed's journey as a reporter, telling personal stories of refugees and protestors; she also has an interesting personal story of her own that relates to those of her interviewees, which is what makes her book different. 

These personal stories are what make A Thousand Farewells more than a book with just numbers and facts; the stories add emotion. Ayed's father worked at a convenience store when her family moved back to Canada. Reading about these people made me wonder about the backstory of newcomers to Canada that I see every day. What if the man I just saw walking down the sidewalk is a refugee? If so, he must have an interesting story—coming from a country with oppressive rulers, torture, and fighting, to a country where people are free to believe what they want, wear what they want, be who they want. But they may also be leaving the only place they've ever known to come to a country where they know nobody. 

A Thousand Farewells brought me past the facts. The Middle East is a region full of conflict; this is something I've always known. However, there are parts to these conflicts that I never thought about until I read this book. I never thought about the feeling of leaving the country I grew up in, the country I'm proud to say is a part of me. After reading about the people who refuse to leave their country, even after decades of instability, war and fear, I've given more thought to what that might feel like—even though I've never come close to knowing that feeling. 

The conflicts Ayed reports on are all fairly recent. Some of them I knew about, but others I didn't. After reading about them, I was surprised at myself for knowing so little about what was going on in the world. It made me want to learn more about the Middle East, and other parts of the world as well. 

I found it interesting to hear stories from both sides in some of the conflicts Ayed covered. She gave us a different outlook on Hezbollah, a group often referred to as terrorists by Western media. This made me raise questions about the media coverage we receive on other conflicts around the world. 

I'm getting off-topic now, but this idea of one-sided media reminded me of a similar case with the Vietnam War. From what I've heard and learned in school, South Vietnam were the good guys. They wanted to be free from the evils of communism, and the United States were the heroes that would help them get there. North Vietnam were the bad guys. They were crazy guerrilla fighters. They were evil. Last year I travelled to Vietnam, and I learned a different perspective—the Americans were evil. They stuck their nose where it didn't belong. They killed innocent Vietnamese people. 

Either way you look at it, both sides committed atrocities. In North America, we were given the South Vietnam/American side of the story, because that's where our loyalty lied. I don't know as much about the Lebanon/Hezbollah conflict, but I believe the way it was portrayed in Western media may have been similar to the Vietnam example, at least to a certain degree. 

Anyways—after that long digression—I thought it was very interesting when Ayed showed perspectives from both sides of the conflict. I learned a lot from A Thousand Farewells. There were a few pages I dogeared along the way with quotes that stuck with me. I'll leave you with three of them:

"...with every journey came the inevitable game of hotel roulette, a game you didn't want to lose." 
Page 139—Ayed speaking about her journey in Iraq, and trying to find a safe place to stay


"The cheapest thing here was human life." 
Page 130—Ali Raad, Iraqi prisoner


"People also regularly killed in the name of religion, and that too was a state of mind I could never comprehend." 
Page 163—Ayed on Middle Eastern conflict

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Seinfeld Valentines

Happy Valentine's Day to all you Seinfeld lovers out there!

Here are some valentines from me to you, courtesy of tbs.com. Enjoy!







Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Super Bowl Commercial

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

Who saw the Seinfeld commercial during the Super Bowl this past weekend?!

I didn't. I know—major ball droppage on my part. I heard about it right away though, through a number of texts and tweets asking if I'd seen it. I was embarrassed to say no.

The thing is, I had too much homework over the weekend to watch the entire game. I only tuned in to watch the important parts, like Bruno's magical feet, and the Chili Peps, shirtless since '83.

Luckily, there's this thing called YouTube, which allowed me to watch the commercial anyway. Assuming I watched the right one, it's a commercial for Jerry Seinfeld's show Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee. I've actually been planning on writing a post about the show for a while, so this worked quite nicely.

The commercial stars Jerry Seinfeld and Jason Alexander; Wayne Knight (Newman) even makes an appearance. It was nice to see them together again, but I wasn't too impressed with it. They went for that Seinfeld humour they used to do so well—random ramblings about insignificant things made funny through quirky characters. In this commercial, however, they lost their ability to do this flawlessly. It sounded forced and unnatural. I suppose I should give them a break though, they've been out of practice for 16 years. Also, thinking back, the forced lines in this commercial sounded similar to the way the characters spoke and interacted with each other when the series first began. I guess, like anything, it took them a little while to find their niche.

Jerry Seinfeld recently confirmed there will be a Seinfeld reunion, and rumours are now floating around that this episode of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee is the reunion. I hope that's not the case.

Best case scenario: There's still a reunion coming, and this episode provided Jerry and George with the practice they needed to be hilarious again.

Here's a link to the commercial on YouTube. Hopefully it's the right one. If not, this will be very embarrassing.

Share your thoughts on the commercial in the comments section below!

Friday, January 31, 2014

Seinfeld Reunion

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

So... this is probably the most exciting thing that has happened since... well, ever. 

According to the New York Daily News, Jerry Seinfeld has confirmed rumours that there will be a Seinfeld reunion. Details of the reunion are still unknown, but Seinfeld said it's going to happen "very, very soon."

It's been almost 16 years since Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer have come together on the small screen. If you're like me, you probably wish they never left—however, at least they didn't drag the show past it's prime. This can't be said for How I Met Your Mother—a show that used to be funny. I suppose this is all irrelevant though, because Seinfeld would've never lost it's prime.

What if the series actually kept going? Imagine the shenanigans the crew would be getting into today. I thought about it, and here's what I came up with for a modern-day Seinfeld episode:

Kramer masters yoga and begins teaching classes. Elaine attends his class. She does the yoga equivalent to the Elaine dance. Kramer kicks her out because she's a distraction to his other students. George meets a mysterious woman through Snapchat. Due to a bedbug scare, Jerry refuses to sit down in all public places. 

For more modern-day Seinfeld episodes, check out @SeinfeldToday on Twitter.

Hopefully we'll hear more about the Seinfeld reunion soon. It's been far too long since we watched this episode (I know you've seen re-runs, but you know what I mean):

"The Finale" season 9, episode 22, 1998
Photo credit: kellimarshall.net

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Interview with an Expert

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

This week's post is featuring an interview with fellow Seinfeld lover, Taylor Cole. Taylor says Jerry Seinfeld was her inspiration for doing her own stand-up comedy. She also has a few other things to say about the show:

Q: Who's your favourite Seinfeld character?

A: Elaine because she's the only woman in the show with "real" character.  All the other women get disrespected by Jerry and George, which I guess was funny in the 90s.  It was nice to see that Elaine had real flaws but didn't always have to apologize for them.  She's also pretty damn cute!

Q: What's your most memorable Seinfeld moment?

A: I always felt a real connection with Kramer. Especially the episode he decided to stay in his shower. He even made a salad in the shower, like who would even think of that?

Q: Who would you date: Jerry, Kramer, or George?

A: Well I'm a sucker for a comedian (Jerry), but I think that Kramer knew how to appreciate and love a real woman.  He wouldn't just reduce me to my "man hands" or judge me if I never laughed out loud.

Q: Bro or Manssiere? ("The Doorman," season six, episode 17)

A: Definitely the Bro. No one calls bras "brassieres" anymore—get with the times Costanza.

Q: You've shared with me your feelings about mens' footwear, and the importance of a good-looking pair of shoes. What's your opinion of Jerry's classic white runners:

A: Even for a show based in the 90s, white runners are horrible—grade A stalker or creepy gym teacher material. Leave the white loafers for your parents in Florida, Jerry.

Q: Which of Elaine's many boyfriends would you date:

A: That's an easy one, David Puddy.  He not only has a sexy voice, but he's a mechanic, he has muscles, and most of all, he loves high fives as much as I do.  Talk about chemistry. High five.

Q: In the season five episode, "The Pie," Jerry witnesses his girfriend's dad, Poppy, skip washing his hands after going to the bathroom. Poppy is also the chef at the restaurant where Jerry and his girlfriend are eating. Jerry refuses to eat the food; what would you do in this situation?

A: Obviously I would eat it. Jerry always makes situations so much more difficult for himself by being stubborn or self-righteous. Sometimes I cook food for myself without washing my hands, and who knows what types of germs are on them. I would only mention the poor bathroom behaviour if I got sick after eating the food.

Wise words from a Seinfeld expert, Taylor Cole. If you'd like to read more of her delightful remarks, visit Taylor's blog.

Until next week, Seinfeld lovers! I'll leave you with the link to a video of Kramer's shower/salad scene.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Sleeping Desk

Hello Seinfeld lovers,

Mid-January is a sleepy time of year, right? It's cold, it gets dark early, and the holidays are over. People are back at school and work, and the only thing everyone wants to do is nap—at least that's all I want to do, and I tend to think everyone is thinking the same thing as me. 

It's the time of year when you almost wish you had a bed in your desk, like George did in the season eight episode, "The Nap."

In case you don't remember, this video should help you out:

Video credit: YouTube

"I love a good nap; sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning." - George Costanza

Although George's plan didn't work out exactly as he hoped, a desk like that would be pretty neat, eh?

Well it turns out the "sleeping desk" is actually a thing. Click the link below to see for yourself.

There's one flaw with this version of George's sleeping desk—privacy. You likely couldn't get away with work naps under a desk like this one. If you're that desperate though, I suggest you do as George did and hire a professional to craft you a custom-made sleeping desk. Just don't get caught!





Photo credit: theatlantic.com

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Bro, Manssiere, WonderBro

Hello Seinfeld lovers!

Now that the holidays are over, I'm back at it—blogging about the greatest show of all time. I hope you all had a very happy Festivus, but it's time to get down to some serious business...

Bro vs. Manssiere

In "The Doorman," episode 17 of the sixth season, Kramer invents a bra for men, which he calls the Bro. Frank Costanza takes an interest in the product, and the two of them form a partnership.

Their partnership is bumpy—Frank argues that the Manssiere is a better name for the product than the Bro. The whole project ends up in shambles before the Bro/Manssiere dispute gets resolved.

I'm going to side with Kramer on this one and say the Bro is a better name. It's simple, and I think it's a better play on words than the Manssiere.

Who are you with? Kramer or Frank?

Video credit: YouTube

There's a reason why I've brought up the Bro/Manssiere debate…

I'm taking a media production class for my communications program, and one of our assignments was to produce and infomercial for a product of our choice. My group happened to come up with a product similar to Kramer's Bro—the WonderBro.

While the Bro is intended for practical uses, the WonderBro is all for show. It's purpose isn't to support man boobs, but to mimic the appearance of large, muscular pectorals on men.

It could sell, couldn't it?

Check out our supreme quality infomercial below!